Everyone has an idea about how children should be raised, and punished too, for that matter. Have you considered a different approach to avoid temper flares? It is a subject that has been researched over and over and sometimes the results are surprising.
Corporal Punishment
For example, when taking a look at corporal punishment and the fluctuation between different research in the United States, the study “Why would physical punishment increase externalizing problems for Caucasian children but be beneficial for African American children?” (This is a study, not my personal question.)
Consider the Differences
Some research seems faulty in that it does not always take into consideration the often overlooked household status. What are the jobs of parents? What is their education? Do they have marital problems or do they love one another? In the case of skin color, many African American and Hispanic families are multi-generational. This means that grandparents and other family members are present in the same home. With more eyes watching what is going on, and with kids enjoying being around older generations, externalizing behaviors are held at lower rates.
Research often fails to take into consideration data on biracial and multicultural children, where there is often a greater understanding and respect for one another.
Try a Hug
If we set corporal punishment aside for a moment and refrain from slapping, or worse, try a hug on a badly behaving child instead and see what kind of results you get. Young children need lots of sensory stimulation for enhanced brain and emotional development. With violence or non-violence their mood can swing either way. Hugging, in a nurturing embrace, triggers the release of oxytocin that will make both you and your child feel better, even if they have just broken something in the home.
Hugging your child while he or she is throwing a temper tantrum, or shortly after, does not reward bad behavior with attention. It simply means you are helping to prevent an emotional crash. You can always lecture later.
For my part, I myself was spanked as a child. Yet as a parent I pick Remy up and hug him to redirect his focus. I feel the result is a much better outcome than spanking.
Do you hug your children when tempers flare?