Advanced immune protection and development, increased IQ, faster restoration for mom’s body, food customized to your child’s needs at any given moment….The benefits of breastfeeding are immeasurable for both mother and child, but we shouldn’t try to fool ourselves into believing it’s all puppies and kittens! Anything of value requires work and the same goes for breastfeeding, especially if you want to extend this bond beyond mother and child, such as including a non-breastfeeding partner. One of the most important things to remember is that breastfeeding is not a task to dredge through; it is an experience for all involved!

 

Breastfeeding did not come easy for me at all! I worked full time in a very stressful job as did my spouse and to make it more interesting, we worked opposite schedules! I encountered what seemed like every obstacle one can imagine- thrush, bleeding, cracked nipples, difficulty getting my daughter to latch on, etc. etc. etc. However, I was determined to provide my child with all the advantages I knew breastfeeding would give her.

 

The first thing we had to work out was feeding when I was not around to breastfeed directly.  Pumping was definitely not my favorite aspect of this experience! There was equipment to lug around, refrigeration to consider, and of course, the poker face adapted for excusing myself to go pump when surrounded by the men of my profession who had absolutely no understanding or leniency for the necessity of what I was doing. The key here was to establish a routine and to make everything as convenient as possible. I kept a separate pump at work and scheduled “coffee” breaks strategically to allow me to pump discreetly.  I kept a mini fridge in my office with a large note advising snooping co-workers not to drink the contents! (And yes, this note was born out of a very awkward experience with a hungry co-worker.)

 

However, pumping was only a small piece of this puzzle. We had to consider nipple confusion, bonding, timing! This required planning and consistency. After copious amounts of research, we developed a system that worked for us. We bought bottle nipples that tried to simulate the breast, we banned pacifiers to decrease nipple confusion as much as possible. My partner always fed close to the chest and shirtless to create skin to skin contact and create the bonding experience that they both needed. We followed a strict feeding schedule and planned trips, etc. far in advance to accommodate our schedule.

 

This all seems like a lot of work, and I won’t lie there were moments when I almost gave up as I slathered “Udder Cream” onto a cracked, bleeding, tender nipple or cried in despair when my daughter simply would not latch on despite an hour long attempt to feed her.  BUT – then there was the fact that my daughter had never had an ear infection, she slept through the night sooner than all her peers, and she rarely got sick. There was the amazing feeling of watching my child grow strong and healthy knowing I did that – homegrown baby! There was the intimate bond my partner built with our daughter that grabbed my heart strings in ways I can’t describe. It was a family effort, hard work we all participated in, but it built a family bond that was strong enough to not only withstand the work, but allow us to thrive from it.

 

Breastfeeding isn’t always the easy choice, but when I look back I know it was worth it. In fact, when the time came, weening my daughter was probably the most difficult part of the entire experience. We had all become so invested in this process. We had come to rely on the bonding time that nursing provided. Despite all the work, none of us wanted to see it end. So, when breastfeeding seems like an uphill battle and the hurdles get harder and harder to jump, just think about all the beauty and the special bonds it is bringing into your family’s life. We could focus on the plethora of various benefits to you and your child all day. We could write a book on it- in fact, people have but, at the end of the day, at least for me, it all comes down to that bond we built working together as a family to grow our beautiful child.